Love lost, amidst worlds apart

the rain beats against my windshield
as I remember the sweat beading on your face
and how badly I wanted to lick the taste of salt from your skin
its too cold outside for you here.
Sweater weather
how fitting
my eyes dart from
sleek pavement
through blurred window pane
following the chalked white lines
around the seemingly endless bends and curves
petal to the metal
though
there's now point in sleeping
we're only chasing dawn now
these foreign love affairs
across two worlds unknown
I have no choice but to deceit myself into believing it was
all a made-up mind-fucking-illusory
only feelings one could poses
from a penetrating dream-like state of mind now
I wish I had never left you
or
I wish I never had opened my eyes,
and if only I had kept dreaming
while I was in your arms,
or while you called me baby
and the sultry words rolled off your tongue
and it was the most savoring thing I had ever salivated for
or...


my mind scattering into bits of tiny blown up pieces
leery eyed of this weary hearted girl
you really cant see the stars here at night
you asked me what I write
...well...
I write my feelings

Trigger

This Shit Burns like Acid Reflex
its killing me
the memories
each one slowly
I need an antacid to block them from coming up
you make me gag
I don't want to remember the sweet times anymore
I don't want to remember YOU
I want to focus on the negative ones
and all the times I HATED you
because that makes it hurt less

I want to dig a less than shallow grave and bury you inside.
I want you to stay there.
Never come back.
You can have a love affair
with the Maggots that infest the gigantic holes
in your brain

Somehow you find it Funny your the broken one.
You built your foundation around malignity
and venomous LIES
They BITE
it STINGS
I have never felt so Vengeful in my entire 23 years of life.
Wave your WHITE flag Dido
Because you started this War
You'll be the Player HATING his game
cause baby you know I BITE back
harder
faster
HARDER
stronger
hard fucking headed
I cant wait to WIPE my beautiful ass with all your
hideous cheating bastard lying conniving "poetry"
Better keep your day job..
oh wait... you don't have one
P A T H E T I C
can you spell that?
keep spreading the Malign gossip about me
when I am an honorable WOMEN
don't you see yet that your the one fucked up
not all of us hahah


Jason I dedicate this blog entry to you. I DONT love you anymore, thanks for at least making that easy

so lately

i have been finding and buying all these beautiful books to write in yet i have no beautiful things to fill them with